You Know You've Read Too Much E21 When
by hollyivy7
Summary: 1. You suck at football and for some reason know what a blitz attack is. But yeah, you still suck at football. Het & Slash. FIRST COMPLETED STORY EVAH, SO REVIEW DAMMIT!
1. In which there is HET

Disclaimer: I do not own Eyeshield 21. Duh.

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You know you've watched too much Eyeshield 21 when:

1. You suck at football and for some reason know what a blitz attack is. But you still suck at football.

2. You are able to map out the complete evolution of Sena's running strategies. With a time line.

3. You shout, "Funnuraba!" to increase your strength while playing tug-of-war. It doesn't work.

4. You cannot help but draw parallels between Eyeshield 21 and Katekyo Hitman Reborn.

5. Instead of saying "eek!" when scared, you now say "hiiiiii!"

6. You tried out for the football team and/or for the manager position. No comment on the outcome.

7. You begged your gym teacher to show you the Devil Bat Ghost and were outraged when he/she didn't understand.

8. You try to make friends with the scary dog down the block that bears a striking resemblance to Cerberus. (Er, folks, don't actually try this. Not even when armed with Pocky sticks.)

9. When pulling someone by the sleeve, you cry, "Delinquent Deathblow!"

10. You now chew obnoxiously pink bubblegum.

11. Before, you thought football players were just dumb jocks who chased pigskin across the field. Now you think they're hot dumb jocks who chase pigskin across the field.

12. When you see a stranger who looks JUST like one of your favorite characters, your super-sonic squeal is loud enough to break the eardrums of those nearest in the vicinity.

13. You really, really want to go to Japan.

14. You've started to add "fucking" in front of words that really don't need it. For example, "Hey fucking carrot top! Fucking pass the fucking salt!"

15. You should be insulted at some of the blatantly sexist chapters in the manga, but...you're not. Well, you kind of are, but you get distracted by all the pretty boys.

16. You have attempted to draw one of the following: Hiruma, Sena, Shin, Panther, Riku.

17. You think that running back is the most focused on position in football and not quarterback. This is so not our fault people.

18. You died a little inside when Sakuraba got the buzz cut.

19. You wish that Deimon High School was real. And that you attended it.

20. You're aware that Suzuna and Mamori are perfectly nice girls...but you still hate them.

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Author's Note- Yeah, spur of the moment thing. I reread the whole series and went on this site for fan fiction. And I thought of the first line when I was in the shower, feeling vaguely guilty for wasting all that time. Um, I have about 20 more lines down on paper. However, some of them are kind of, er, shonen ai-esque? So I'll put them at the very bottom with a warning. You don't have to read them if you don't want to. :)

REVIEW PLEASE!

Tell me if I have any grammar mistakes or plain plot holes. I only looked it over once.

PS. I apologize for Hiruma's pottymouth! If you think the rating should be upped, contact me. Though they used the word "fuck" plenty of times in the manga...


	2. In which there is SHONEN AI

Disclaimer: Again, Eyeshield 21 is not mine.

Thank you for the reviews, you lovely people. As promised, I present you the newest chapter.

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21. You were wondering if there was going to be something special on this number. Uh, no. Not that creative.

22. You curse never sending in a question to be investigated for the end of each volume.

23. You wish there was a sequel. (And don't give me that "one chapter special" crap.)

24. You are considering kidnapping the mangaka and not releasing him until he agrees to write the said sequel.

25. You cried when the 333rd chapter was over.

26. You refuse to believe that Eyeshield 21 is fictional. Because it's NOT!

27. You watched American football on TV. There were no bishies though, so you turned it off. False advertising, tch.

28. You learned more about the rules of football from the manga than you've learned in all your years of PE.

29. You can name most of the teams mentioned in Eyeshield 21. You can name maybe one American football team in real life.

30. You've started eating cream puffs on Mamori's recommendation, cough cough, obsession.

31. The first time you read E21, you only read the chapters with Sena in them.

32. The second time you read E21, you skipped to the chapters with Hiruma.

33. You totally did not see the whole stacked up dart thing coming.

34. You have developed an irrational wariness towards dread locked people. Now, upon the sight of them, you no longer think "Jamaican" but "Holy crap! It's Agon!"

35. You've searched up your favorite characters on the following websites: fanfiction, deviantart, google, livejournal, wikipedia.

36. Your friends wish you had never watched E21 because you are now prone to saying things like, "to the MAX!" or "kekeke!"

37. You want Hiruma to unbleach his hair, even though you can't imagine him with black hair.

38. You have a soft spot for that really tall kid in your AP math class; you call him Yukimitsu in your mind. And not baldie. Right.

39. You...still can't remember that invisible guy's name. Ishi-something? Damn.

40. You have delusions of having Sena, Hiruma, or both as your boyfriend (s). Not gonna happen sister! The closest you're getting is kissing a life-sized poster of them every night before going to sleep.

41. You were let down when you watched a televised football game and no gusts of wind appeared during the running back's sprint. Faker! You're not doing it right!

42. You read the entire Eyeshield 21 series in less than a week.

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Warning! Yaoi content ahead! Skip if you fear man love!

43. You accept and acknowledge Sena as the ultimate uke.

44. You know that Hiruma and Agon have a _past_ together, insert suggestive eyebrow wiggle.

45. You are sure that Riichiro Inagaki, the author of Eyeshield 21, is secretly a boys love fan. WHY ELSE WOULD HE PUT SO MANY CUTE BOYS IN TIGHT UNIFORMS AND DRAMATIC SITUATIONS???

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Author's Note: These are all my opinions and personal experiences, kay? You guys don't have to agree with them, though being entertained is a different story!

Can anyone spot the hidden allusion to a part of the manga? Hint: It has to do with an idol and blackmail.

Review Please! May be convinced to write a spin off, wink wink.


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